The Great Plague of Thaali Bajaao
The Great Plague of London, which, um, plagued London from 1665 to 1666, was the last major epidemic of Bubonic plague to occur in England. It still killed an estimated 100,000 people—almost a quarter of the city’s population in 18 months.
This epidemic was on a much smaller scale than the earlier Black Death pandemic that ravaged Europe a few centuries prior. It became known as the "great" plague only because it was the last widespread outbreak.
This was also the first time that population demographics and epidemiology were used to understand and contain the disease. John Graunt (1620–1674), who was one of the earliest Fellows of the Royal Society and one of the first demographers, was among the first to bring a scientific approach to the collection of population statistics. In 1662, he estimated that 384,000 people lived in the City of London, the Liberties, Westminster and the out-parishes, based on the “Bills of Mortality" that were published by London parishes detailing plague deaths every week. I wonder if members of parliament were calling him an Amnesty International Soros stooge for making death statistics more accurate (Ironically, he did in fact become bankrupt from the discrimination he faced later in life after he converted to Roman Catholicism)
During that epidemic, plague bells were rung after each victim was buried, to remind those still alive of the ongoing danger & the need to stay the fuck home. This is considered to be one of the origins of the expression - sounding the death knell.
Fast forward 4 centuries to the year 2020, the Prime Minister of India launched a #5minute5baje #thalibajao campaign, notionally, to build awareness of the pandemic and the need to socially distance, and to recognise the heroic efforts of healthcare workers, but practically to cater to the great Indian delusion of wanting to be seen doing something about a problem than actually doing something about it.
Not surprisingly, this campaign was criticised as being a shallow political gimmick, and even less surprisingly, those critiquing this high-decibel attempt to breach the lipids in the cell walls of SARS-CoV2 were termed anti-nationals. And to seize the narrative, proud supporters of the beard-in-chief circulated WhatsApp forwards that explained the scientific rationale behind the #ThaliBajaao campaign.
I would like to invite our chief guest Sidin Sunny Vadukut, WhatsApp Forward Gastronomical Expert to sample these offerings along with me and review and rate these works of propaganda art.
WhatsApp forward 1
NASA satellite videos LIVE telecast have shown that the coronavirus is retreating in India thanks to the people's efforts at 5PM on 22 Mar ..
The cosmic level sound waves generated have been detected by NASA's SD13 wave detector and a recently made bio-satellite has shown COVID-19 strain diminishing and weakening!!!
BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR MAKING THIS A SUCCESS
Proud to be an Indian
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Jai Hind 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
Sidin’s review: The use of all caps AND italics towards the end suggests a mind that is not averse to creative typography. Five claps, as we know, is the bare minimum number of claps except, perhaps, in a funeral setting. Good job overall by Mr Jai Hind. 7/10
Ashok’s review: I love the visual image of the coronavirus army retreating from India in a way that the Chinese army is not. And the reference to cosmic sound waves because everyone knows that Om is the sound of the cosmos. 8/10
WhatsApp forward 2
The 5pm clapping modi asked us to do is extremely interesting. Someone i know who's studied astrology and knows how to correlate with science.
At that time Moon is passing to a new 'nakshatra' called Revati.
The playing of bells and clapping: The cumulative vibration will encourage blood circulation in the body. .
It's the reason they used to have huge, gong-like bells in old Shakti temples on the mountains.
Someone very knowledgeable is guiding Modi abt this. Hope it works. 22nd March is Amavasya, darkest day in a month. All virus, bacteria and evil forces have maximum potential and power on such days. 5 PM- clapping, shankh nada etc by 130 crore people at the same time will create so much vibrations that virus will lose all potency. Must for everyone.
Sidin’s review: This brave new work is a trenchant appeal to collective action at a time when cynicism prevails in much of Indian society. And as a long-time fan of vibrations of all kind this is the kind of WhatsApp forward we should all be reading this summer. Four thumbs up.
Ashok’s review: I like the appeal-to-scientific-authority based approach (“You know, my 4th cousin who is IIT professor of astrology told me…”) and the subtle hint that beard-ji is exceedingly humble and listens to good advisors thus providing a sly “don’t blame him if things go south” excuse as well. 3 and a half thumbs up the population's collective ass.
WhatsApp forward 3
The advice to make sound at 5pm has a very hidden scientific message. The sound waves if created all over the country at a fixed common time will surely disrupt the travel of virus & repel them not to enter our Vicinity . This is the reason why sound & noise is made at the dawn & sunset in the temples, in the old Churches in olden times and the Aazaan . Without the sunlight the virus & bacteria and all evil Spirits become more active. Hence this stand to create an aura of sound waves to shoo away all the negative forces entering and to save our country And the whole world.
So even if u feel this is funny and don't want to applaud for anyone please do it for your country and the whole world, understanding the scientific reason🙏🏻🙏🏻
Pls pass it on to All your groups and contacts.
Sidin’s review: The only thing better than meticulously fact-checked journalism… is meticulously fact-checked SECULAR journalism. Indeed the writer has pointed out why we all make sound and noise at dawn. A rousing work. Definitely worth one watch. Grade: B-
Ashok’s review: In a world already ravaged by the Covid-19 pandemic, it takes special courage to package pseudoscience from all religions into one supremely potent information virus and encourage one and all to spread it to all their groups and contacts. Grade: A+
WhatsApp forward 4
Sidin’s review: It has a mellifluous delivery, scintillating content and arrested development. However, it needs more cowbell. CA Prelim Fail.
Ashok’s review: Hindi theriyaadhu poda. 1/10
A Bell from New Zealand
After that frankly frenzied feast of forwards, it is now time for me to tell you about a bell from New Zealand. Yes. A bell from New Zealand. But this is not any bell. Oh no. It is a very special bell.
So the story begins with a guy called Willian Colenso. Born in 1811 in Cornwall in England. Colenso became a missionary and then in his early 20s, he goes to New Zealand to do missionary things. (Hello no laughing in the back!)
This story is from his earliest years in New Zealand. Later Colenso’s story becomes much more controversial. For instance, he becomes quite successful and well connected. But also a bit stubborn. He is opposed to things like drinking and horseracing and annoys everybody. He is also highly opposed to settlers having Maori wives outside a Christian marriage.
And then no prizes for guessing what happens. Turns out Colenso himself has a son out of wedlock with a Maori woman named Ripeka… who is Colenso’s wife’s maid. 😬
And his status just collapses. But all that comes much much later in his life.
The story I want to tell you today is from 1836 or 1837. Some sources suggest it happened in 1841. But it is a true story. A young Colenso, no more than say, 30 years old, travels on his missionary travels to a place called Whangerei. Which is today up on North Island. Back then also it was up on North Island. You know what I mean. Today Whangerei is the northernmost city in New Zealand I think. So back in 1841, Colenso notices members of a local Maori family cooking potatoes in an iron cooking pot that the Maoris call a kohua.
But then Colenso realizes that that… actually it isn’t a pot. It’s not a kohua. In fact… he realizes that it is a bell. A bronze bell. A damaged bronze bell. A bell that has lost an entire ring from that skirt bit. So it looks shorter than it was. But definitely a bell. Around 16 centimetres high and around 15 centimetres in diameter. Colenso immediately realized this was not just a pot.
But some sort of bell. (I’ve never used the word bell so much in one day.)
So Colenso asks them where did you get this thing. And the Maoris tell him that the pot has been in the iwi (or the confederation of tribes) for generations. According to tradition, the pot was found after a tree by the sea was blown over by the wind. And inside the roots they found this little pot entangled.
So safe to say it had been used as a pot for hundreds of years or so.
Colenso decides it is interesting enough to take home. So he trades an actual pot for the bell.
Colenso goes on to live a very interesting life and then he dies in 1899. At which point some of his belongings are bequeathed to a museum. Back then it was called the Colonial Museum. Then it became the Dominion Museum. And today it’s called the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa.
They put the bell on display. And immediately it becomes a huge controversial object.
Why? Because of the inscription around the bell. Can you guess what language it was in? Now let me remind you. This is a bell spotted on North Island in New Zealand in the 1830s. But definitely in the possession of Maori tribes there at least since the 1500s or 1600s or even earlier. So what language is this inscription in?
TAMIL!!!
The inscription reads: Mohaideen Bakshudai Kappaludai Mani
The bell of Mohideen Baksh’s ship.
So the question then becomes how in the world did a bell from a Muslim Tamil captain’s ship land up on North Island? And the answer is… nobody really knows. It has fuelled all kinds of speculation, including the idea that the Tamils may have landed in New Zealand centuries before Captain Cook. Still, nobody really knows.
There are roughly two popular theories.
One is that a Tamil ship from the Late Pandya period, so around 1500 or so, was lost at sea and somehow the wreckage washed up in New Zealand. The other theory is that Portuguese traders picked it up from somewhere and then traded it with the Maoris somehow.
But still, nobody knows who Mohideen Baksh is and how his bell landed up in North Island.
The Tamil Bell of New Zealand. How intriguing.
Do you have a Mohideen Baksh in your family archives? Did he lose a bell? Let us know.
For Whom The Bell Tolls
Fahad Faasil can play Mohideen Baksh